every once in awhile. I have a thought. And well... being the declared fruit rather than a girl, that I am... I find it only appropriate to blog a few of those thoughts under the alias of a semi-obscure piece of fruit that of course, has become one of my ever-growing collection of nicknames.


Would I like some Whine with my Cheese?

So I've been in a bit of a mood lately. And these things come and go. However I have been bitching for a good week to several people about something that nags me like a mother-fucker.

And I honestly think I'm in the right in saying these things as long as I don't have one of my irritated outbursts and scream them at any one particular individual because there's several involved in my problem.

I have my own life. And *gasp* there's a lot of people in it. My life is mine to live however I so choose-th. This includes hanging out with who i want to when I want to and talking to those i want to talk to when i want to talk to them. All of that pending that person wants me around or wants to talk to me. So I'm in this position. You, whom-ever you may be, might always be top priority or I just might be in the mood to be around someone else. I need that thought respected unless I am flat out rejecting you on a regular basis, than you have a right to ask me what's going on. Sometimes I like to see a friend or two of mine, on a one on one basis. I like groups, I like them a lot. But no one knows quite how long it's been since Shayne and I have gotten to have a good sit down time, EVEN in a group setting, let along the two of us having time alone. His life is equally as busy as mine has become. And that's just one example. I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS. A LOT. this is imparitive for everyone to remember. I know a lot of people, and love several of them as if they were my siblings, sometimes more than i love my actual siblings. Bare in mind, it's not a cut against you if I want to go see Brian instead of go see you. He means the world to me and we've been through our own personal hells and back together, and I NEVER get to see him anymore. Once again, that's just ONE example.

Now, on a related but different topic. It is NEVER my fault... nor is it my problem if you're bored. It is never my job to entertain you. NEVER. I get an assload of calls a week of people informing me that they're bored. Now when I'm not doing much, that's fine, we'll come be bored together. But I'm not a source of entertainment, honestly. However, if I'm at work, if i'm snowboarding, if I'm spending time with someone else and it's just not in my notion to enjoy your company as well, I'm sorry, but that's just how it is. And if i'm having Keely-time, that rule goes as well. I don't get ANY Keely time anymore and with all my duties being an emotional therapist, and having my own life / problems... I NEED Keely-time. Call someone else. I will not be swayed by whining. It'll just irritate me and make me less interested in answering your calls in the future. Boredom busting is not my business. Get a hobby, I've got several. And about my hobbies. No one , and I repeat no one is allowed to bitch at me for blowing them off in any manor to be snowboarding... why? Because I've been on the hill TWICE this season. IT's JANUARY FOR JESUS LOVIN' MOTHER FUCKING CHRISTS SAKE. So for the next few weeks I will be spending vast amount of my waking hours strapped in and that's that. I don't want any begging, complaining, fussing about needing to come home to somerset. If you want to spend time with me that bad, come up and see me, I'll teach you to ride. Otherwise, zip it.

And finally. I said I have a lot of friends. That's an underestimate this time of year. I have seasonal friends. And plenty of 'em. The number of people that my time is dispersed between doubles when the snow flies. Everyone from Craig to Krash is just as interesting and almost as important to me as the people I see during spring, summer, and fall. These people have been and are a major part of my growing up. I am who I am, mostly because of these people, they've had more effect on myself, my morality, my character, than MOST of the other people I know year round. Strange, but very true. I've known most of them since I was sixteen or seventeen and every year it's like the off-season didn't exist, we all have picked up just where we left off and it's all good again. So bear in mind, this also clutters up my schedule.

So in summary, feel free to call if you want to hang out with me / miss me / whatever. However do not call to blame me for your boredom or expect me to cure it, i'm in no mood for it especially lately. Also in summary, if I don't answer, I might be busy... if and when I get the chance i'll call you back.

And most importantly my life is mine.. not a one of anyone else runs any part of that for me. I make the final call on what I'm doing, when, and I make 50% of the decision of whom I do whatever with.

Irritably and Exhaustedly,
aka. Keely


And it Burns, Burns, Burns....

Love is friendship set on fire. That's one this image I ran across on my computer today. I like the way that sounds. I really do. And I feel like it's right.

So my lack of posting... I must say deals with these thoughts. The entire concept of blogging became temporarily defunct for me. I started reading other people's blogs and wondered, who in the hell does this? Who throws all this out there whether or not it shall be read. But then it occured to me, that's not why I was doing it, now was it? It was for my benefit, a place for me to feel like I was sharing something with someone. And it really didn't matter who for once... I mean knowing for a fact that someone read it and it made them think enough to comment is also a nice gesture but other than that it's kind of comforting to just make the assumption that someone out there whether they know you or not has a better understanding of how you feel about whatever the topic of the day may have been. The internet gives some pretty awesome group hugs like that.

However it's still a cold and desolate machine that I'm typing into and I'm resenting that more and more all the time. Not so much when I'm using it to contact people or even to blog. But I need a typewriter or word processor to write on. I can't take the computer type-ups all the time. Just can't do it. Frustrating to say the least.

It is high time for a cigarette and for anyone who pays attention... expect more frequent knowledge in the near future... I'm in a blogging phase. Stay tuned to see if we make it to the Season Two box set.