every once in awhile. I have a thought. And well... being the declared fruit rather than a girl, that I am... I find it only appropriate to blog a few of those thoughts under the alias of a semi-obscure piece of fruit that of course, has become one of my ever-growing collection of nicknames.

22.8.06

What's to Miss About The Diner Nights

I haven't been to the Summit Diner, or the less purposeful but functional Eat N' Park & Dennys in so long I'm not sure when I last found myself there. But I realized today, that at the root of it all, I suppose I miss the people, but what I miss is the environment provided by places like that. When many people think of kids that hang out in diners, they think of loser, outcasts, kids dressed from head to toe in black that drone on about the possibilities of death. Granted, it's a funny image, and I'm sure in some cases still an accurate portrayal, but my experience has never been that way. I've never had some deeply meaningful conversation about death whilst sitting in any restraunt booth (correction: my mother and her breakfast pals engaged me in a horridly depressing conversation about death one morning when I was in 7th grade). With my peers, the only death related conversation I've EVER had was held whilst sitting on a couch drinking wine. It was one of the more uncomfortable conversations of my lifetime. Of course, if you count Trace's frequent insistance about impending doom as conversations related to death, I suppose I've had several more, but Trace is one of a kind, more or less.

But my point really is this. Sitting down in places like that with nothing but a drink and maybe a notebook at your side only provides you with so much to do. You almost HAVE to talk. But when you're amongst friends, there's not much small talk to be had, so why meet up. To discuss things that you give a shit about. If I call up someone to see how their doing, it's really unlikely that I'm going to end up engaged in a conversation about what thier favorite driving songs are and why. But if I meet up with them at a restraunt (but by no means for dinner), and we sit down to coffee, well that's a topic that has the potential to come up. I don't so much like pop culture in general. I mean I like music, books, movies, as much as the average person. But I'm not obesessed. But I do have an enjoyment of anaylization. I can't tell you how many albums I listened to non-stop for a month or two, and then in hindsight thought about why they stuck out to me at that point, and what might be mechanically great about a particular band or song. And I like talking about these things, I like talking about a book I've read with someone else who's read it. I like hearing how other people experience things in a different way than my own. Which is what all these conversations are really about, what a song, or a book, or a movie MEANT to each different person and why. I like thinking about those sorts of things. And I haven't really created much of an outlet for that liking as of lately, and there's a chance, fairly slim chance, but a chance that I might start to slip more of these things into my life at least once or twice a month.

Over the past several months, I really do think I've grown up really fast, and I'm still growing even faster. I'm suddenly worried about building some semblance of a career. And truly, sincerely I do like it. I know I'm going to be 20 tomorrow, and that's still young in the grand scheme of things, but I've never been one to really do things at a normal pace for my age. I've always been a little ahead or a little behind. Six months ago, I was far more worried about whether I'd brought enough cigarettes to work with me or if I should've bought another pack on my way. Or maybe I was more concerned with what the Special of the Day was at the ski lodge cafeteria and whether the pizza would be any good. But I certainly wasn't worrying about college/job training, careers or anything of the sort. Nor was I thinking of mowing lawns, and triming bushes, or vaccooming and dusting. Things that I'm sure will soon find themselves on my lists of weekly and bi-weekly things that Rob and I need to accomplish. And I think that's where we start to loose a lot of interest in the pop culture world. I mean some people never have much interest in it, some have more. I'll throw myself somewhere in the middle. But we grow up, we have substance in our lives, things that NEED to be done, tasks that are required of our living situation.

For example, five years from now, I'd like to be owning 3 to 4 dogs, do you have any idea how much time and effort goes into caring for that many animals in a fashion that I deem suitable? I'm not the kind of person that puts a kennel together and slides food and water under the gate, I believe in loving and enjoying pets, otherwise what's the point. So walks, games of fetch, obedience competitions, these things take time.

For the average person, it even adds up fast. The normal things, yardwork, housework, kids/dogs (trust me, they can take an equal amount of time and support), and a job. Well then you add in things that aren't responsibilities but that you NEED in your life. Like I'll always need time to just relax with Rob and appreciate how great it is that I have him, and how lucky I am to spend my days with him (some people call this "us time"). Then factor in family. My own family drives me crazy but as long as I live in a reasonably close area I will still need to see them and spend time with them. I never really looked at us as a close family, but it's now become very clear that we are. My sister how ever demanding and blind-sided she can be, is still my sister, and there's still those moments where I know just how great it is to have her as my sister, same goes for both my brothers. So factor in monthly time for families. Now if you're left with ANY time at all, what are the chances you're going to be able to swing pop culture discussions over coffee into your life. That's where these interests get lost. And that is kind of a little sad. Kind of like outgrowing hopscotch is sad. But you really can cling to these, I mean they can't be the center of your life like they once might have been (sure, the highlight of my day used to be going to the diner after work to BS about music and literature that don't matter in the long run), but you can still squeeze one or two of these sessions in per month, provided you still have the friends in proximity to have these rambles with.

Despite those last two sentences, my vote is still kind of hanging on whether I want to leave that part of my brain behind, or still let it slip out every so often. We'll see how I feel at a later date when I'm bothered to think about it all again.

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