"Good Afternoon, my name is Keely, may I have your account number so that i may access your account please?"
"EH!!!! blah blah blah (insert numbers for the blah blah)"
"Thank you sir. you're current bill of $231.16 is due July 21st and your past...."
"THEN WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SHUT MY LIGHTS OFF?!!!??"
"Well sir, I was about to finish with you have a past due balance of $1432.18"
"So why do I know people that owe you $3000 dollars and they don't have THEIR lights off?"
"Perhaps because they didn't default from their payment arrangements sir (my brain starts trying to make me say things like: Because they eventually figured out to PAY their bill!... Because they didn't find a $10.00/mo. agreement too stenuous)
"WHATEVER. YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING CROOKED ASS CRIMINALS... I HEARD WHAT YOU DID IN TROY (here I must pause to remember that he means Troy, NY, not like, the trojan horse and Helen troy)"
"Sir, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"YES YOU FUCKING DO, DON'T EVEN TRY, YOU THINK I'M SOME NUMBER, SOME IDIOT... YOU THINK I'M SOME DEADBEAT JACKOFF"
(brain: say YES!) "no sir, but I don't see how yelling is helping me, help you resolve the issue of your getting your services restored."
"Oh shut the fuck up!"
(customer hangs up, after waiting at least 20 minutes on hold for this conversation)
Today, I spoke with a gentleman who told me that he needs his electric services because his wife has one lung. I'm still not sure what to think. And I shall elaborate enough to say that he clarified that she was NOT on oxygen or anything of that nature.
My job is nothing if not entertaining in hindsight.