every once in awhile. I have a thought. And well... being the declared fruit rather than a girl, that I am... I find it only appropriate to blog a few of those thoughts under the alias of a semi-obscure piece of fruit that of course, has become one of my ever-growing collection of nicknames.


Somethings burning... oh that's just my hair.

I have no idea what i'm doing.

I'm now about 20 minutes into my second bleach kit of the evening.

I'm dying my hair blonde.

In order to dye it something else, which I shall keep secret from those who don't already know.

And I have no idea why I feel the need to make my hair this strange color.

It's something about myself I'll never understand.

But for a short moment in time, I understand all those ridiculous Everest climbers who say "because it's there".

Because I can.


My Ears Bleed

"Good Afternoon, my name is Keely, may I have your account number so that i may access your account please?"
"EH!!!! blah blah blah (insert numbers for the blah blah)"
"Thank you sir. you're current bill of $231.16 is due July 21st and your past...."
"Well sir, I was about to finish with you have a past due balance of $1432.18"
"So why do I know people that owe you $3000 dollars and they don't have THEIR lights off?"
"Perhaps because they didn't default from their payment arrangements sir (my brain starts trying to make me say things like: Because they eventually figured out to PAY their bill!... Because they didn't find a $10.00/mo. agreement too stenuous)
"WHATEVER. YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING CROOKED ASS CRIMINALS... I HEARD WHAT YOU DID IN TROY (here I must pause to remember that he means Troy, NY, not like, the trojan horse and Helen troy)"
"Sir, I have no idea what you're talking about."
(brain: say YES!) "no sir, but I don't see how yelling is helping me, help you resolve the issue of your getting your services restored."
"Oh shut the fuck up!"
(customer hangs up, after waiting at least 20 minutes on hold for this conversation)

Today, I spoke with a gentleman who told me that he needs his electric services because his wife has one lung. I'm still not sure what to think. And I shall elaborate enough to say that he clarified that she was NOT on oxygen or anything of that nature.

My job is nothing if not entertaining in hindsight.


A Simple Return

I'm here. For now. Because I feel like making a list and publishing it. And I have yet to get iruff.net up to speed.

Top 5 Things to Hate About Johnstown (with some comparisons)

1. hand guns. People here carry hand guns. Not everyone, but enough. In Somerset, people carry rifles regularly. But they are under no false assumption that it makes them cool. They keep it close because you never know when you might need to shoot something.

2. Fast food. Is never close. Cities there is a fast food joint on every corner. Somerset has 3 McDonalds locations. Yet, somehow in the Johnstown area you're almost always a 20 minute drive to the fast food you seek.

3. Traffic. And I'm well aware lots of place have traffic. But this traffic is not in places where traffic is supposed to be. It's not downtown, it's in the suburbs. And there is no explainable reason for why the traffic at 11:30am is worse than it is at 8AM.

4. You know how most cities have a good mix of good and bad neighborhoods? It's easier to get lost in residential hell here than it is in Pittsburgh for godsake.

5. Direction. Nothing is where it's supposed to be. You can follow directions so precisely, and still somehow, you don't end up where you were going.

Runner-up : the impression of some of the residence that they live in a city. Far from it. But some of these people actually act like they live in some great city with extravagant sky scrappers or something. Johnstown is simple a medium sized town, with a mall hanging out on the end.